he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
