pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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