Nicole vs. Life
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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