Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
