SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Randomize
