Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
