Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
