Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
