both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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