So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize