Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Randomize
