She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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