yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
