Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize