So drunk its hurt
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
