And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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