there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
