Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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