how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Say something about gay babies.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize