how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
handjob tips. give me some.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
