Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
