jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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