At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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