Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
