y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Randomize