Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
