they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
