It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
