Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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