no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
