Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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