please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
