I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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