How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
