I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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