How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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