omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
