Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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