i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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