Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
