The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
