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My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
