You can't motorboat a personality
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
