Ambien. No doubt about it.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
