We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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