She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
