Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
