Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Semen is not good for contacts.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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