I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
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