smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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