At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
