woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
