I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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