he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
