i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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