No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
