Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I accidentally burped into my bong.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
