What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize