I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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