You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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