Michael Bay diarrhea
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
