woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
