It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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