the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
