Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
No stitches, just platelets and will power
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
