So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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