I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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