I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
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