ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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