I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize