Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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