Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
